8 Warning Signs That You Might Be in An Abusive Relationship
Relationships, in general, have positive and negative phases. When two people start sharing a close bond, it is expected that there would be many ups and downs. Trouble starts to brew when the negatives outweigh the positives, and the relationship begins to take a turn towards being an abusive one. It is not always obvious when the relationship turns abusive, and there are no clear definitions, but there are certain warning signs that can foretell that it might be time to move out and move on.
1. When They Try to Control Every Thing You Do
A good relationship is one where both partners can simply be themselves around each other. Abuse starts when one person tries to control or put a check on every single thing that the other person does. For example, if your partner controls the way you handle your finances, the clothes you wear, where you work, and who you go out with, it might be time to turn around and tell them to stop doing it. If it is something they have been doing without much thought, they might be able to stop, and if not, you need to move on.
2. Lying and Keeping Secrets Ruin the Trust
Trust forms the base of any relationship, and if you cannot trust your partner, the relationship will eventually break anyway. One of the main reasons trust begins to fade away is when you notice your partner lying or keeping secrets from you. No lies are insignificant or small, as any kind of lie means that they are probably doing something behind your back they should not be doing. Have a chat with your partner before the secret-keeping intensifies to the point that there is no room for trust anymore.
3. Ignoring You on Your Worst Days Is Abuse as Well
Every person goes through minor or major ups and downs in their lives, and the bad days are when you need your partner to be there by your side the most. If that has not been happening for a long time, it might be time to stop and think whether this person really values your happiness. Being ignored for years can be detrimental to your emotional health, so walk out before you reach that stage.
4. Being Overly Possessive Can Break Down A Relationship
While it is okay to want your partner to be around you most of the time, a line needs to be drawn between being possessive and being over possessive. If your partner is a person who stops you from hanging out with your friends and family or going out on your own, these are clear-cut signs of over possessiveness. They also might demand an explanation for everything you do or say. You need to be able to have your own life despite being in a relationship, and if that has not been happening, it is better to part ways.
5. Being Unapologetic Causes Bitterness in A Relationship
To err is human, and the most sensible thing to do in a relationship after a fight is to apologize for a mistake. However, if you are in a relationship where you find yourself to be apologetic after every fight while your partner never is, it is a warning bell that the person is self-centered and uncaring. If you continue to be in such a relationship, soon you will start being pushed around like a doormat.
6. Physical Abuse Can Be of Different Types
Although definitive physical abuse such as slapping, hitting, being sexually violent, and beating up are clear markers that you need to walk out, there are other kinds of physical abuse that might make you confused as to whether to leave. Such instances of physical abuse include showing aggression (such as throwing things), yelling uncontrollably, or gesturing in rude or unacceptable manners. If you are going through these, accept the fact that the relationship is abusive, and move out before it turns more violent.
7. Constantly Putting You Down Is A Definitive Sign
When your partner begins to demean you, either for your looks, your intelligence, or other qualities, it is a definitive sign that they do not care. They simply love to have you around so they could undermine you and feel superior. This is not how a relationship should be. A good relationship is one where your partner is the one that appreciates you even when the rest of the world turns against you, and thus, they are exclusively there for you.
8. Threatening You or The Children Is the Last Straw
You might have been subdued in a relationship for years, hoping it will all get better one day, and when that day never comes, you raise your voice. You decide to leave the seemingly abusive partner, but they do not let you go easily, they threaten to harm you, the children, or the extended family. It is an extremely common reason for someone to continue to stay in an abusive relationship, for fear of the threats getting real, but it is also the reason why taking that bold step of moving out is absolutely necessary.
It Is Never Too Soon
It is important that you read the signs of abuse in a relationship before it is too late, and no, it is never too early to have a conversation with your partner if something doesn’t feel right. In fact, the sooner you realize you are in an abusive relationship, the easier it is to move out. Things get overly complicated if you wait too long, and your partner’s abusive nature intensifies. If nothing else works, ask for help from abuse helplines. You are never alone.